Broken
by smurnane
Summary: Edward has left Bella because he thinks he's doing what is right. He tries to keep her safe by going after her enemy. Will he save her? New Moon from Edward's perspective.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This fic is co written with my best friend bonniebelle1107. We write well together and freakishly finish each other's sentences. We hope you enjoy our first collaboration on a Twilight fic. Reviews are welcome and encouraged.**

_Mistake after mistake. Could he have destroyed his own happiness any more thoroughly?...Edward speaking of Romeo_

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." I spoke the words slowly and precisely, I focused on Bella's face as I tried to gauge her reaction. I knew that she would be hurt but this was for her own good. She stood silently as if she hadn't grasped the meaning of my words.

"You...don't...want me?" Her words were stuttered as the pain flashed forth from her eyes. I braced myself to be cold and unforgiving as I dealt the final blow to my beloved Bella. In time I hoped that she would forgive me.

"No."

The moment that word left my lips I knew it was over. I saw Bella stiffen but I resolved myself to my decision. I couldn't...wouldn't allow her to see that I was lying. She searched my eyes for some sign, any sign that I didn't mean what I said. I could tell by the look on her face that my ruse was working.

"Well, that changes things." She said calmly still trying to comprehend what this meant for us and for our now non-existant future. I looked away into the forest unable to face her pain. "Of course, I'll always love you...in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm..._tired _of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human." I turned to face her again. "I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that."

"Don't" She spoke barely above a whisper. I could tell by watching her that the full meaning of my words was finally sinking in. The pain on her face was almost more than I could bear. "Don't do this." I looked at her and said nothing searching her eyes for understanding and for a brief moment the realization flashed in her eyes.

"You're not good for me , Bella" I lied, smoothly. Knowing the pain this would cause her as she always had issues about being worthy of my love. She opened her mouth as if to speak but remained silent. I stood there just waiting, praying for this agony to end and finally she spoke.

"If...that is what you want." At this moment I couldn't bear the lie. I longed to pull her into my arms and kiss the pain away but this was for the best. I had to make her fall out of love with me. I could do nothing but nod in agreement. She stood there frozen, numb. Stupidly I felt the need to impose a condition on her as if I had the right.

"I would like to ask one favor, though, if that's not too much." Briefly I allowed my pain to flicker across my face and she noticed but I quickly composed myself, awaiting her response. Still speaking barely above a whisper she answers me, "Anything."

I gazed hard into her eyes, losing myself in the moment, trying desperately to keep myself composed enough to do what was necessary, what I had to do to save her. Save her from the danger of loving me. I broke the gaze, afraid to look longer for fear that she would see my deception.

"Don't do anything recklass or stupid," I demanded, my eyes felt frozen, hard. She didn't answer. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

She nodded, standing there broken. The pain evident. I distanced myself from her. "I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself--for him."

She shook her head again in agreement and whispered, "I will."

I felt relieved somewhat that she would hold fast to this promise and I felt inclined to make a promise to her. "And I'll make you a promise in return, I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. i won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed."

She appeared unsteady on her feet, on the verge of collapse. I felt the need to lighten the situation, reassure her in some way. I smiled at her gently. "Don't worry. You're human-your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind." She could barely speak through her pain and that tore a hole in what should have been my heart. But I don't have a heart and what I was doing to Bella is proof of that. She looked at me and spoke haltingly, "And your memories?"

My thoughts were painful now and I hesitated to respond. "Well-I won't forget. But _my _kind...we're very easily distracted." I smiled to attempt to deflect my lie. Nothing could take away my memories, my love for Bella. But if I could make it easier for her by allowing her to believe that then that is what I had to do. I stepped back from her, creating a precious distance to allow myself more control. I felt the need to leave before I failed in my mission.

"That's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again." Her surprise at my statement was obvious. She glanced downward, eyes to the ground. "Alice isn't coming back"

I shook my head, "No. they're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye."

"Alice is gone?" Her voice was resound with disbelief. I knew how much Alice meant to her and I felt the need to reassure her that Alice felt the same way. "She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you." I recalled how Alice argued with me, hurt that I denied her a final goodbye to her friend. A friend that made her feel almost human again. She loved Bella as a sister. I feared she would never forgive me for not allowing her to say goodbye. I snapped back into reality. I watched Bella as she started to spin out of control. She looked as though she was about to collapse and I couldn't bear any more of this pain.

"Goodbye, Bella"

"Wait!" She cried out as she reached for me. I knew that if she came to me I would be unable to deny her. I couldn't...I wouldn't allow it. I reached out and grasped her warm wrists in my icy hands. I reveled in her warmth and I tried to imprint the memory of her skin into my very being. Knowing that this is the last time I would touch my beloved Bella. I couldn't resist giving her one last kiss. I leaned down and barely kissed her forehead. Feeling her warm skin against mine was torture. I closed my eyes and drank in her sweet scent. I pulled back, "Take care of yourself" This is unbearable and unfair. But I would do anything to save her even if that meant giving her up. I turned and left her standing there with her eyes closed.

_"Edward!! No!!" _Her thoughts slammed my mind with such force that I nearly stumbled and fell. I glanced back and she still stood there in shock and no words were spoken. It was then that I realized that I had been allowed access to her thoughts. The one thing that I desperately wanted all this time was now in my grasp. Oh the torture, I didn't want to hear her thoughts now. My mind flashed over with the images of her pain. She was reliving her past in an attempt to protect herself from the destruction I imposed upon her. I turned to look at her one last time. She opened her eyes and instantly locked onto mine. She didn't speak but in my mind I heard with such pain, "_Goodbye Edward. I will love you forever." _This was unbearable. I ran and I ran trying to distance myself from her, from hearing her thoughts. I ran blindly into the darkness until her thoughts were just a whisper.

It was then that I realized where I was...our meadow. God, the pain would never end. I would never be able to escape our love, my Bella. I had to do something, I had to erase all traces of myself from Bella's life. I knew what had to be done. I raced to her house. Charlie wasn't home which would make it easier. I entered her room silently. I scanned the room and began picking up anything that would remind her of me. I opened her CD player where I knew I would find the CD I had given her. I gingerly removed it and slipped it in my pocket. Her scrapbook lay on the floor as she left it. I opened it, not surprised to find our picture. I traced the image of her tenderly with my finger. "I'm so sorry Bella," I took out the photo and put it with the CD.

For a moment I allowed myself to lay in her bed. The bed we had shared many a night in each other's arms. Her scent heavily permeated the sheets. I held the pillow and squeezed it tight. I must go. I looked around the room trying to burn the memory. I couldn't take Bella's things. I couldn't do it. I pulled up a loose floorboard and placed everything there. A part of me hoping that Bella would discover it. As I turned to leave I saw her scarf hanging from a chair. I pulled it to my face, drinking in the sweetness of her scent. I tucked it in my pocket. A memory of my love.

I had to see Carlisle. I needed to talk to him right away. I scrawled a note to Charlie so that he could find Bella. I knew that she would never make it home on her own. Not after what I had put her through. I took one last look around the house. "Goodbye my love."

I set out to rejoin my family as I left my life in Forks behind.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: The characters and backstory all belong to the talented Stephenie Meyer. No infringement intended. Parts of this story are taken directly from New Moon continuity sake. The co-writer on this fic is bonniebelle1107. As always your reviews are welcome and encouraged. Enjoy!**

Chapter Two - Homecoming

I pulled up outside of our new home, feeling my stomach lurch with the extravagance of it all. Carlisle had gone all out, buying a Victorian style mansion, not at all like the cozy home we had known in Forks.

"Edward!!" I could hear Alice shout as she made her way to the front door to greet me. Apprehensively, I stepped out of the car, and made my way to the front stair, not looking forward to what was waiting for me on the other side of the door. Before I had even stepped foot on the first step, the door flew open and Alice bounded out, nearly tackling me where I stood. Esme stood silently in the doorway, watching as I composed myself. I nodded in her direction and watched as she disappeared inside.

Alice had been beyond angry with me for denying her the opportunity to say goodbye to her friend, and I could tell from the look in her eyes that she had yet to forgive me. "What were you thinking, Edward? You didn't have to do that to her."

She had been watching. I knew that she wouldn't be able to tune out, despite my request for privacy. "I had no choice." She huffed and turned her back to me; not that it mattered. I didn't need to see the expression on her face to know that her anger was not subsiding. Despite her relative spunkiness, Alice was the last of the Cullen coven that you wanted to anger.

I looked around the estate, grateful for the high fence that surrounded the yard. How odd we would appear to passersby, standing here on the front lawn conversing this way.

"Honestly Alice, don't you think you are being just a tad bit dramatic? She will move on. She will...She will forget about me. This is for the best." She quickly spun on her heels to face me, her eyes glowing red.

"The best for whom? You have no idea what you have done to her."

I stepped towards her, placing my arm on her shoulder. "I don't want to know. Please, Alice. Please don't watch her. I promised her..."

Alice's face softened as she began to realize my pain. "Edward...I'm sorry."

I paused for a moment, closed my eyes and tried to pull myself back together. "Don't be. This is my fault and mine alone." I turned away from her and climbed the steps to the porch. This place didn't feel like home, and I found myself aching for our home in Forks. Esme met me at the door, her eyes sympathetic to the pain I was obviously experiencing. Without a word, she wrapped her arm around my waist, and walked me inside.

"Carlisle has been waiting for you, Edward." We stood in the hallway, just outside of the study, with it's heavy wooden doors pulled shut. "Don't worry. It will all work out." Esme would never know just how much she reminded me of my mortal mother, always looking out for every member of our coven, despite our many mistakes.

The anxiety that I felt as we stood outside of those doors was ridiculous, but real nonetheless. Over the years, Carlisle and I had developed a mutual respect for each other. In many ways, I thought of him as my surrogate father. The thought of having disappointed him was nearly unbearable.

Esme placed her hand on the doorknob, and giving me one last look, she slowly opened the door. "Go on." I stepped inside and waited for my eyes to adjust to the dim light before I took a seat on the plush couch across from the chair where Carlisle sat. I tried to hear him, but he was cleverly keeping his mind free of thought. "Edward." I set my eyes to a space on the floor between us. "Thank you for joining me." His voice was as low and calm as always, still giving no clue as to what might be going on in the depths of his mind

"I'm sorry. I should have never let this get so far." I jumped the gun, anticipating his reaction. He raised his hand ever so slightly, instantly silencing me. Esme walked up behind him, and rested her hands on his shoulder. He continued to raise his hand until it rested atop Esme's.

"Edward, don't apologize. We loved her too." I raised my eyes to meet his as a smile crept across my face.

"That's Bella. You can't help but love her." Esme nodded in agreement, as she slowly walked around and took a seat next to Carlisle.

"With that said, we all need to move on. I know you understand." His voice was calming, and it put my frazzled nerves at ease. "You've made your decision. You've spared her life, but in return you must now go on without her."

I nodded acknowledging the awful truth. "I have and I may regret it for all eternity."

"You may, but you need to face the fact that you can never see her again. It's just too dangerous," he paused for a moment. "for all of us. Naturally she will move on. She will build a life for herself. You must do the same. Leave here, Edward. Go out and see the world. Continue doing the things that you loved before you loved her. Life will go on for both of you. How you live it is up to you."

He did not wait for my response. He patted Esme's hand and then stood, quickly leaving us behind. I was stunned by his reaction, and still visibly shaken. I lowered my head once again, letting the pain of the day wash over me. Esme quickly took to my side, patting my back and speaking soothingly. "He's right, you know. We loved her too. You need to listen to him, Edward. You need to try to put this all behind you. Go out and see the world, try to find a new love." She paused, knowing that the words were cutting through my granite skin as a razor would cut paper. "I know that's difficult for you now, but you'll see, and in the end if your heart brings you back to Bella, you must follow its lead."

"That will never happen, Esme. I don't have a heart." I rested my head in the palm of my hands, crushed by the weight of my decisions.

"You have the biggest heart of anyone I have ever known, Edward. You will find love again." With that said, she stood and walked across the room before bidding me goodnight, leaving me alone in this dark room of shadows to face the consequences of my decisions.

Esme had told me to follow my heart. "Stupid cliches!" I sighed. Any fool could see that I had left my heart with Bella. I sank back into the comfort of the sofa and closed my eyes, contemplating where my future may lead me, when a voice in my head startled me.

"Stupid human! I can't believe that we had to up and leave because of HER. Damn you Edward and damn you Bella." Rosalie's thought tore into my head with a vengeance and took me by surprise. I sat up, thinking that I must have misunderstood, but it was all but confirmed as she continued.

"She's probably crying her poor little brown eyes out. Serves her right. She deserves every bit of pain that she's feeling." My fists clenched, I jumped up from the couch and quickly felt waves of anger wash over my body as I lost all measure of self control. Without thinking I sought out my "sister" and decided that we were going to have it out once and for all.

I did not have to look far. She was lying in Emmett's arms in the parlor. I approached her with caution, not wanting to provoke Emmett. "What did you say?" I asked, through clenched teeth. She smiled, knowing I had heard every word loud and clear.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Edward. I haven't said a single word, have I honey?" She turned to Emmett, who nodded in agreement.

"I heard you, Rosalie. Why don't you just come out once and scream it? Stop hiding behind your doe eyes and show us all just how ugly you can be."

Without a word of warning, she jumped up from the sofa, landing directly in front of me. It was a move I had admired during our "camping trips". It did not lose any of its effectiveness in this confined space. Unable to control the anger, I met her stare, both of us refusing to back down. Emmett jumped up and tried to reason with her, but we both were beyond reason as we circled one another. "What's wrong, Edward? Miss your little pet project in self control? I can't believe you lasted as long as you did. Oh, sweet Bella. Alas, it was not to be."

The sound of her name spoken with such contempt took my anger to levels I had yet to experience. Before I knew it, I had thrown Rosalie to the floor, and fought to keep myself from ripping her limb for limb. "Hmmm, Bella, Bella, Bella. What would she think if she were to walk in here right now, Hmmm? She might get the wrong idea." She knew that just the sound of her name was enough to crush me, and she knew she had the upper hand. She flipped me over and pinned me to the floor. After the ordeal I had been through, I had no strength left to fight her. She threw her head back and laughed. Her blonde hair whipped around her face, creating a halo effect as I looked up at her, but angel she was not.

Emmett sat back watching with wonder, not fully understanding what had brought this on. The sound of her laughter echoed around the empty room, and bounced off the rafters, bringing Jasper out from wherever it was he had been hiding.

"What the..." Without wasting a single moment, Jasper went to work to defuse the situation. I could feel the anger begin to drain from my body. Emmett helped Rosalie up from the floor and then turned to speak to Jasper for a moment. Rosalie, still standing above me, extended her hand to help me up. "Need some help, _brother?_" She smirked at me, still every bit as contentious as she had been before Jasper's arrival. I accepted her hand, and allowed her to help me up from the floor. Once again standing on my own two feet, her hand still in mine, I pulled her close and leaned over to whisper in her ear. "Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly cuts right to the bone, _sis."_

I released her hand and calmly left the room, listening as their minds searched for some sort of reason for this, the answer that only Rosalie and I knew.

_Dearest Esme:_

_It pains me to do this, but I must go. There's nothing for me here anymore. Please give my love to Alice. I regret not speaking to her before leaving, but I couldn't stay here a moment longer. I can hear them, all of them. But even if I couldn't hear them, I would still know. I see it in the way they look at me, the way that they turn from me as I walk into the room. They blame me for this, and even worse, they blame Bella. She did not ask for any of this. Please make them understand. This is not her fault._

_Just as I promised Bella, you will not see or hear from me again._ _Perhaps I am taking the coward's way out by writing this letter, but I just can't stand to see pain reflected in the eyes of one more person that I love._

_I will be forever grateful to the kindess you and Carlisle have shown me through the years. _

_Love, Edward_

I placed the note on the counter where I knew that she would find it, and threw my bag over my shoulder. Without allowing myself a moment to change my mind, I headed out the door and into the night.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Co-written with Bonniebelle1107**

**Chapter ThreeThe Voice Within**

I looked back with longing at my family's home. Deeply regretting that it was necessary for me to leave them. I had caused so much pain because of my need to be with Bella and now everyone was paying the price. My family had to start over in a new place, I had to leave my soulmate (as if I had a soul) and cause her unspeakable pain. But most of all I was in the worst pain that I had ever been. The most torturous part was being subjected to everyone's thoughts. The agony as I was forced to hear what they truly thought opposed to what they told me. I felt the need to get as far away from everyone as possible.

I ran as far as I could, into the blackness of the forest until the voices in my head quieted. It was odd to be left alone with no one's thoughts but my own. That's when the true torture began because all I could think about was Bella and my family and I knew the pain . The pain I caused and the pain that I was in. I reflected on my conversation with Alice. I'd never seen her so angry before. It finally dawned on me how much Alice loved Bella. I now had to live with the guilt of taking the one person away that made her feel almost human again. I felt as though I had been punched in the gut.

I layed down on the moss covered ground and looked up into the stars, trying desperately to make sense of it all. Destiny, Fate, these words meaningless until I met her. Bella was my destiny, the love of my life, my reason for being. I realized with an irony that it was only by becoming a vampire that I fulfilled my destiny. I laughed softly at the thought. Whoever could have thought that I would be grateful for being the monster that I was because for a brief moment in time I was happy, in love, and almost human. I turned my thoughts back to a happier time with Bella. I closed my eyes and imagined her lying in my arms just as she had done in the meadow. She was so warm and loving as so unafraid. She wanted to be with me despite the risks, despite the danger, she somehow found it in her heart to love me.

What had I done to that love? I sighed heavily as I recall the stinging words that I lashed out at her when we last spoke. Would she ever know how deeply it pained me to break her heart, to see the pain in her eyes when she thought herself unworthy of me. This pain was more than I could bear. I could feel the anger wash over me yet again. I needed to hurt something or someone so they would feel as badly as I did now. "Stop it Edward!" The voice jolted me out of my pain. I grabbed my head in confusion. No! I can't hear Bella's voice! Why now? Why can't I make a clean break and walk away. "I love you Edward. I always have and I probably always will." Her voice came to me with a softness and full of love. I knew that I was feeding off of delusions but to hear her voice again even for a moment was heaven and hell.

"I love you too Bella. So much. I will always love you," I replied to the voice in my head. The ache in my heart, the heart I vehemently denied that I had, was more than I could take. I ran again, deeper into the dark, trying desperately to escape my own personal demons. It was only when I stopped that I realized how thirsty I had become, I was acutely aware of the monster within, screaming for blood. It had been such a long time since I had fed but I didn't care. I would never feed again if I could rid myself of this pain. I turned my now pitch black eyes towards the heavens and I screamed with every ounce of my strength.

I hadn't even sensed his approach. He stalked the edges of the treeline contemplating whether to approach me. I sighed, frustrated at the interruption of my self inflicted torture. "You may as well come out" I said, hoping he would detect my displeasure. He stepped out into the moonlight, the moonbeams danced off of his chocolate skin making it glisten. He smiled revealing dazzling white teeth, "Edward," the sound of my name hissed from his mouth. "Fancy meeting you here." He stood there nonchalant but his mind revealed something else entirely. He was afraid. I was the last person he wanted to see. He was heading somewhere on a mission. I glared at him in suspicion, "Laurent? I didn't think I would ever see you again. Especially after our last encounter."

He smiled, "No hard feelings Edward." He stepped back with his hands up. "I had nothing to do with what happened with James and Victoria. I hope you realize that." His mind told me a very different story. His thoughts revealed that he was at this very moment working with Victoria (I shuddered just recalling her name) and that they were planning something. I stepped closer to him. "Hmmmm, I wonder now" I said softly as I circled him. "Are you sure that you aren't _with _Victoria?" I questioned as I stared at him with coldness. He backed away creating a distance between us. He shoved his hands nervously in his pockets, in his mind he said Bella's name. My head snapped up in surprise. Without a second thought I grabbed him forcefully by the throat and slammed him against a nearby tree. Anger blazing in my black, thirsty eyes. "What are you planning with Victoria Laurent!!" I screamed. His eyes wild with fear. I felt myself within moments of taking his life without another thought.

"Wait!!" He cried, "I'll tell you everything, just let me go". I backed away slowly, releasing my hold on him, and crossing my arms with anticipation. "I can't wait to hear this. Go on," I said rather coldly. He straightened his clothes and tried to regain his composure. "It's true, I have been with Victoria lately. She was quite upset you know, after you killed James," He looked at me with slitted eyes. "He was her mate, Edward, and well, now she's out of control and out for revenge."

"I'm listening," I tapped my fingers in frustration against my elbows.

"Let's just say that she believes in an eye for an eye." I met his gaze head on, "What do you mean?"

"Come now Edward, Don't be naive. An eye for an eye. A _mate_ for a mate." His eyes danced with amusement. I shuddered as the realization hit me. Bella. Damn it all to hell! Victoria was going after Bella!

"No!!," I cried. I threw Laurent to the ground and pinned him there. "She's not my mate," I lied, "She means nothing to me!" I grabbed him by the collar and pulled his face inches from mine, "You tell that bitch, that if she wants to come after someone to bring it on!" I released him roughly and he scrambled away. He turned to run and I knew that he would seek out Victoria. I yelled, "Tell her I am waiting!"

I watched as he escaped to the darkness. It was futile to follow him. His thoughts revealed that he wasn't going to see Victoria for a few days so it was pointless to give chase. My chest felt heavy with fear and dread. God, how could I be so stupid! She was going after Bella. I knew that I had to do something and I knew I was going to need help. I turned back in the direction of the house. This was a mission for the whole Cullen clan. I could only hope that they would help, especially given my behavior lately. I raced in the blackness fueled by the need to protect her and keep her safe. I would rather die a thousand deaths than allowed Victoria anywhere near Bella. I saw the light in the distance. I slowed my pace and contemplated what I would say.

I stood outside the doors and hesitated for a moment. I turned the knob and took a deep breath, "Here goes nothing."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: As you know...All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. This fic is co-written with bonniebelle1107. We are both self professed comment whores so please review. Thank you to everyone for reviews/alerts. It's much appreciated.**

Chapter Four - The Promise

Standing in the grand foyer, everything was dark, with the exception of the sliver of light escaping from beneath the doors of Carlisle's study. I carefully measured my steps, trying to avoid any objects that I might encounter on my way across the hall. Just as I reached out for the brass door knob, the stairway light flickered on, and revealed Alice sitting at the foot of the stairs. "I've been waiting for you." She stared straight ahead, as if in deep concentration. I dropped my bag and sat down beside her, placing my arm around her shoulder; a gesture she quickly shrugged off. "Give my love to Alice? What is that? I just...I just..." She let out a loud sigh. "What I wouldn't do to cry right now!" I knew exactly what she meant. Our immorality had robbed us of so many things, our tears among them.

"Alice, I'm sorry. I had to get out." I knew that no amount of words would sooth the anger that was building just beneath the surface.

"Then why did you come back?" She looked to me for the first time since I had entered the room, her eyes squinting as she pretended that she didn't already know.

"Really Alice, playing dumb is beneath you. I need your help." I pleaded with her, hoping that she would soon soften. "I need you to tell me what you see. What do you see for Bella?"

She quickly jumped and began pacing back and forth in the hallway. "You made me promise...Promises may not mean much to you these days ahead, Edward, but they do to me." Obviously her feelings were still hurt, and she was going to make this as difficult for me as she possibly could.

"She's in danger, Alice. I need to know that she'll be okay."

"What? So you can sweep in and save her like some sort of tortured super hero, only to break her heart when you leave her again? No. I can't do it. I won't do that to her. The only thing she needs protection from is you, Edward."

She folded her arms across her chest, and with a stomp of her foot, she turned her back to me. I knew this game all to well. I had played it myself when I didn't get my way as a child. I stood up and made my way to her side. "Alice, this is much bigger than you or me. I found Laurent." I backed away from her for a moment and watched as my words began to register. "Alice, if you ever cared about her at all, you'll help me."

"James is dead. Victoria is gone. Laurent is not a threat to Bella."

"I wish I could be so sure. Victoria is planning her revenge. _A mate for a mate. _Those were his words and that means that Bella is in a substantial amount of danger." She twisted her face, as she allowed it all to sink in, her anger taking a backseat to the concern that she felt for Bella.

After a moment, she snapped out of her trance. She once again took a seat on the bottom stair of the grand staircase, and rested her head in her hands. Her mood had not lightened. She sat in silence, as if the weight of what she had saw had crushed her words; however, her thoughts came through loud and clear. I knelt down in front of her, holding both of her hands in one of mine. "Alice, tell me, please." I begged her, hoping that she would see the disaster her silence would bring.

"You promised her." Her words were soft, barely audible. "You promised her and I promised you. I'm sorry, I can't help you Edward." I knew it was pointless to beg. Alice's loyalty to her word was one of her most enduring traits, although at this very moment I wished she was just a little less loyal.

"No, I am the one who is sorry." I dropped her hands, and pushed past her on my way up the stairs.

"Jasper won't help you." She called after me. "I wouldn't count on Rosalie or Emmett either." I knew she was right. After our confrontation today, I was lucky that Alice was even speaking to me. They were certainly not going to go out of their way to protect the one that they blamed for their uprooting. I made my way back down the stairs, and sat down a few stairs above her. She did not turn to face me.

"I don't know how to fix this, Alice." She didn't answer right away, leaving my words hanging in the air that separated us.

"You're not stupid, Edward. Maybe a little selfish right now, but you're not stupid. You'll figure this out."

"Selfish? Everything I have done, I have done to protect her." I raised my voice to her, which I regretted the instant that the words left my mouth.

"Right. You broke her heart. You took away everything that mattered to her, all because you want to protect her?" She breathed a sarcastic sigh, and finally turned to face me. "Tell me something, Edward. Do you really think...If what Laurent said is true, do you really believe that she's safer without you?"

"I made my decision."

"Would you listen to yourself? All of sudden now you're intent on living with your decision. Just a few minutes ago, you were asking me to look into her future. You can't have it both ways."

"You're right."

"Of course I am."

"And if I want to fix this, I guess I'll have to do it myself. You've been a big help, Alice. Thank you." I placed my hand atop her head as I walked by the step where she sat. "I'll be in touch."

Slinging my bag on my shoulder, I left without another word, knowing what had to be done and that I was the only one that could do it.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. This fic is co-written w/bonniebelle1107. Thank you for all the reviews and alerts. It motivates us greatly to keep writing :)**

For the first time ever in my immortal existence I truly felt alone, abandoned. I knew that my family loved me but I had caused everyone unspeakable pain and I didn't know how to fix it. How do I go on? That was the question that plagued me. In the short time that I had known Bella she had become my entire world, my reason for being, and I just couldn't imagine my life without her. I told myself that she's better off without me in her life, that without me the danger would no longer be present. But was that the truth? My encounter with Laurent made me think otherwise. I knew now that I had to insure Bella's safety and that meant going after Victoria. It would not be an easy task. Victoria, her name begs the image of a wild and fearless predator who will stop at nothing to capture her prey.

Bella. She was going after Bella and I had to stop it, regardless of the price. It would be easy going after her on my own but without my family to back me I don't have a choice. I knew nothing about the art of tracking. James had been a master. I, merely, a novice. My tracking ability was limited to hunting down animals upon which to feed. James and Victoria had proved elusive before and nearly cost Bella her life. I wouldn't allow that to happen again. I became increasingly frustrated at not knowing where to even begin tracking her. I decided to go back to the clearing where my family had first encountered them. Hoping, although going against my logic, that I would somehow pick up her scent.

I ran through the darkness of the forest with a purpose and determination. I felt the wind rush through my hair and for a brief moment I lost myself in the exhiliration. Then the memory slammed into me with such force I nearly ran headlong into a tree. I remembered carrying Bella to the clearing. My decision to bring her there that night led to all this pain and suffering. She had nearly been killed because of my selfish need to have her in my life. I would never forgive myself for exposing her to this danger. I realized that I had now reached the clearing. I circled the perimeter and closed my eyes for a moment trying to recall the exact spot from which they had emerged. Nothing.

I stood still, taking in deep lungfuls of air trying to pick up something, anything. Nothing. I screamed in frustration. The sound coming from me must have been terrifying because animals scattered in every direction. It was useless. I couldn't locate the scent. Damn! This was frustrating. I sat down on a rock in the clearing with my face in my hands driving myself mad trying to figure out what to do next. Then a thought sprang to mind. I dug my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed.

Dare I hope that she would answer?

I waited forever for someone to pick up...finally I heard a woman's voice on the other end of the line. "Irina, it's Edward. I need to speak with Tanya right now."

I spoke with Tanya for awhile, explaining the situation and how it was imperative that I find Laurent. She hadn't spoken with him in awhile but recalled that he mentioned meeting up with an old friend in Phoenix. I stiffened at the mention of the city where Bella grew up. "Thanks Tanya. You've helped a great deal. I will come see you soon. Take care," I snapped my phone shut and tapped it against my hand. Of course, she was in Phoenix, she was studying her prey and planning her attack. What better way than to start where Bella grew up and yet keep her far enough away to keep from arousing suspicion from my family.

I called the airport and arranged a red eye to Phoenix. My chest felt heavy at the realization that to save Bella I would have to endure my own personal torture. I was heading for her childhood home. That seemed a reasonable place to start. I knew that her mother was still in Florida with Phil so the house would be empty yet full of Bella's essence. The plane ride was uneventful, most of the time I kept my eyes shut in feigned sleep just to avoid the mindless prattle of my fellow passengers. It was difficult to shut off their petty thoughts but I had other pressing matters on my mind. I had to stop Victoria and whatever it was she was planning.

The plane landed in the wee hours of the morning, just as I planned. I had to be careful to avoid the sun that was ever present here. I had the taxi driver drop me off outside the house. I stood outside, hesitating. I hadn't realized how hard it would be to come back here. The memories still fresh from the hell James had inflicted when he lured Bella to the ballet studio. I retrieved the key from it's place of concealment and quietly opened the door. Bella's scent was strong in the house and I stood frozen in the doorway, overwhelmed by my feelings. I searched the common areas of the house trying to discern the scent of a vampire from the delectable scent of my Bella. I sensed traces of something but it was faint, nearly dissipated.

I followed the scent down the hallway to her room. She had been here. I sensed it now. I opened the door to what had been Bella's bedroom. Bella's scent was strong here. Emanating from the clothes hanging in her closet. I opened the closet door and ran my hand along the clothes, stirring her scent with my movement. I breathed deeply, trying to capture it inside me somehow. I pulled her sweater from the hanger and clutched it to my chest. I fell to the bed and curled up sobbing tearlessly. Aching to be with her. This was more than I could bear. I opened my eyes and saw a piece of paper on the floor underneath the desk that looked out of place, as if dropped by mistake. I placed the sweater carefully on the foot of the bed and stepped forward to see what it was.

Barely legible, the handwriting was scrawled, Maria-Monterrrey Mexico Nov 15 3pm.

My jaw dropped. Her vindictiveness knew no bounds. Could she possibly know the connection between Maria and Jasper? Is this just an unlikely coincedence? There was only one way to find out. I had to go to Monterrey and had just two days to catch up with her. I had to find where they were meeting and stop her.


	6. Chapter 6

The long trip to Monterrey was torturous. I had hours to do nothing but _think. _Unfortunately I could only think of Bella. I couldn't make myself focus on the mission at hand. Soon my thoughts were consumed by Bella. The smell of her hair, the warmth of her skin, the passionate way she responded to my kiss...I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts and desperately trying to focus on Victoria. I had no idea how I would locate Maria once I got to Monterrey but I assumed she wouldn't be overly difficult to find. I tried to remember every encounter with Victoria. Was there any clue that I missed? Any connection that I haven't made?

I gripped the edge of my seat so tightly that it began to split beneath my hand. I released it quickly and brought my hands to my temples, rubbing them in frustration. It annoyed me to no end to be even the slightest bit out of control. It was an unfamiliar feeling. Before Bella, my existence was ordinary, if there is such a thing. Now my life had spiraled out of control and for the first time in my life I didn't have the answers. The announcement that the plane was landing snapped me out of my reverie. I glanced at my watch noting the time. I had less than twelve hours to find Victoria and Maria.

Although I knew it was a waste of time, I tried to call Jasper. I was hoping that he could give me a lead on where to look for Maria. He didn't answer. I can't say I was surprised, especially given the argument I had with Alice. It looked like I was going to be on my own. Luckily for me, it was the middle of the night in Monterrey and I wouldn't have to disguise my true identity. I quickly exited the airport intent on finding some means of transportation...no Porsche 911 turbos here..I laughed softly as Alice sprang to mind.

Then I saw it. The silver finish gleamed under the lights in the parking lot. A Mercedes SLR McLaren. Carlisle would be proud. The car was obviously made for speed and speed was of the essence. I reached toward the handle to see if it was mistakenly left unlocked. I was completely focused on taking the car that I didn't realize that I wasn't alone. The scent was overpowering and I recognized it at once. Vampire. I whirled around, preparing to fight, and I stopped dead in my tracks. Before me stood a stunning creature. She was slender, dressed to the nines, her brunette tresses falling softly around her face. Her eyes, sparkling rubies, danced with amusement. She placed her hands on her hips and spoke softly, "Tsk Tsk Tsk, naughty Edward. Didn't your parents ever teach you that it's not nice to steal."

I listened to her thoughts briefly and instantly knew who she was, "Well Maria, I presume. Hmmm it appears the mouse has found the cat eh?" She laughed. "I've been waiting for you." She stepped closer to me and reached out to caress my face. "You are even more handsome than Victoria let on," she purred. My eyes locked onto hers at the mention of Victoria's name, "You've met with her already," I said, my voice defeated, "I'm too late."

She stepped back and leaned against the car nonchalantly, "I have spoken with the redhead", she absentmindedly examined her fingernails, "You really pissed her off Edward. You really shouldn't have done that."

"Go on," I said flatly.

"Well," She circled behind me and leaned closely, speaking softly into my ear, "She's definitely out for revenge..._a mate for a mate_...I believe those were her words." I spun around grabbing her by the shoulders, trying desperately to control my emotions, "What is she planning?" The question seethed from my mouth. Maria pulled away from me roughly. Her eyes dark with fury, she pulled her shirt down tautly, "I would suggest that you treat me with respect Edward, that is if you want my cooperation."

I was instantly sorry for my behavior, "I'm very sorry Maria. It's just that...well I tend to lose control when someone or something threatens...Bella." She crossed her arms. "Interesting. I didn't think it was true. A vampire in love with a human. It's quite fascinating I must tell you." I was quickly losing patience in this dance we were in.

"Are you going to tell me what Victoria is up too?", I asked. She hoisted herself on the hood of the car and crossed her legs nonchalantly. "Where do I begin...oh yes...Somehow Victoria found out about my past with Jasper and my exploits to...gain control of Monterrey. She came asking for my help. She not only wants to kill the girl but she is determined to kill you too. She mistakenly assumed that I would help."

"And? Are you going too?"

She laughed, "Silly Edward. Of course not. Jasper's family is my family. I don't hold any ill will towards him. It pleases me to know that Jasper is happy." She had a faraway look now and in her mind she was recalling her time with Jasper. In her own way she too loved him. "I would never do anything to hurt Jasper so there is no way that I was going to help Victoria."

"How did she respond to that?"

The amusement returned to her eyes, "Let's just say we had a bit of a disagreement." Her thoughts conveyed a hellacious fight and Victoria had slunk off nursing her wounds. I smiled at the vision dancing in her head, "Do you know where she went?"

"She didn't say but I had some of my...people...keep tabs on her. She booked a flight for San Antonio,TX. She was also overheard speaking to someone named Riley," she shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know if that will help but that's all I know."

I turned my attention to the car and lovingly caressed the exterior, "Another time perhaps.."

"Edward?"

I looked at Maria, "You've been nothing short of amazing." I briefly hugged her and headed back towards the airport. She called after me, "Tell Jasper I send my regards."

Practically running I made my way to the ticket counter. I leaned towards the young girl behind the counter and flashed her a smile. Fully aware of what Bella called my ability to _dazzle_ people. I got what I wanted...first class, non-stop flight to San Antonio.

I was reinvigorated in my pursuit. Victory was within my grasp. I could almost taste it.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: The Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Please review and let us know what you think. My co-writer and best beta is Bonniebelle1107. **

Chapter SevenSan Antonio

The plane landed at dusk, for which I was grateful. It's difficult to be inconspicuous when your skin sparkles like millions of diamonds in the sun. I decided that I would rent a car and then try to figure out where to go next. As I waited for the valet to bring around the car I nervously tapped my cell phone against the counter, it startled me when it vibrating. I glanced at the display but the number was unknown. I answered with trepidation, "Hello?"

"Hello Edward," Her voice dripped with seductiveness. "Maria. I didn't think I would be hearing from you so soon." She paused for a moment before she responded. "Hmph. You're going to hurt my feelings Edward. You aren't happy to hear from me?" I could almost hear the pout on the other end of the line. I rolled my eyes, thankful that she couldn't see my reaction. "Of course I'm happy to hear from you. Have you any leads for me?"

Her tone brightened, "As a matter of fact I do. Victoria called me about an hour ago. I guess she won't take no for an answer." She laughed softly. "I told her that I couldn't help her if it meant harming Jasper or anyone he cares about. Anyway, she told me that if I changed my mind that I could find her in one of the abandoned warehouses on the outskirts of town." My interest was definitely piqued. "How reliable is this information?" I asked dryly.

She laughed again, "Well you are the mind reader dear. I'm just the messenger." I laughed at her sarcastic humor. I could see why Jasper had stayed with her all that time. "Thanks for the information Maria. I'll be in touch." I snapped the phone closed. I decided to head out to find these warehouses. I glanced at my watch realizing that I had limited time before the next sunrise to find her. It shouldn't be too difficult, I convinced myself, to find a vampire in San Antonio.

I tapped my foot anxiously against the sidewalk while I waited for the car. Finally the valet pulled the car around. I smiled as I saw the Silver Volvo S60 R pulled around the corner. It looked identical to the car I left behind in NY. I tipped the valet and slipped into the car silently. It amazed me how many memories of Bella were stirred by the car. I remembered the long ride from Port Angeles and the endless probing questions by my beautiful detective. I remembered the drives to school and all the happier times. I sighed deeply and muttered to myself, "I will protect you Bella, with my life."

I sped off towards the outskirts of town, hoping that it would be easy to locate Victoria and put an end to her madness. Of course, the logical part of my brain kept telling me, infuriatingly, that nothing comes easy. I tried to push that thought out of my head. I needed to focus. It wasn't long before I was on the edge of town and found a large district of warehouses. I parked the car and decided to head off on foot so that I could pick up her scent more readily.

I stood on the corner of the darkened strip that seemed all the more menacing in the moonlight. I breathed in deeply trying to capture that unmistakably sweet scent of my kind. As I quickly deciphered the variety of scents assaulting my nose I pick up a faint trace of something familiar. I breathed in again, unsure if I was imagining it. No. It was definitely a vampire but the scent was so faint, distant. I headed in the direction of the scent being careful of my surroundings and being stealth like to not attract any unnecessary attention.

After what seemed like an eternity I finally found the source of the scent. I stepped softly through the entrance, not making a sound. All my senses were on high alert. I stalked down the hallway towards where the scent became stronger. I was leery and anxious. I couldn't sense anyone's thoughts so I knew that no one was in the warehouse but yet I was on edge. I found a large open space with boxes scattered all over in disarray. In the center of the room was a makeshift table with a large map. As I neared the table to examine it more closely I saw the notes on the margins of the map. The handwriting was familiar. My mind flashed back to the note on the floor in Bella's room. The writing was unmistakable. It belonged to Victoria.

I couldn't decipher most of it. Numbers, names, nothing quite made sense. The strength of the scent in this room told me that I hadn't missed Victoria by much. I was mesmerized by the map before me. I was desperate to make some sense of it. Something here would divulge her plans I was sure of it. Towards the bottom of the map I could make out the scrawl. It simply stated. R. Brazil. I picked up the map and crumpled it in frustration. I threw it with such force that it made a hole in the wall. I let out a roar. God this was incredibly frustrating. I ran outside to try to pick up Victoria's trail. Nothing. Anger boiled under the surface threatening to release the inner monster I fought so hard to contain. The need to feed was becoming overwhelming.

I had never gone so long without hunting before. I feared that I may do something I would regret if I didn't satiate the monster within. I knew that I had to find somewhere isolated, somewhere I could unleash the monster that beckoned me. In the distance I saw a wooded area. It seemed like a good place to start. Perhaps it would distract me from my failure, my inability to protect the people that I most cared about. I ran towards the woods, to feed, to escape...


	8. Chapter 8

In my weakened state the monster that I was threatened to overwhelm my control. I knew that I needed to satiate my thirst now. Running quickly to the wooded area where my prey ran unsuspecting through the trees. I paused and closed my eyes letting my superior sense of hearing take over. I felt oddly vunerable despite my strength. It was at these times, when truly alone with my thoughts, that my mind inevitably traveled to the memory that nearly destroyed me.

I stepped into the bright sunlight of the clearing, with only two things on my mind, my thirst and my failure. I had spent every minute of every day for the past 3 months seeking out Victoria and trying to put an end to whatever it was she was planning; and yet here I stood, no closer to finding her and growing weaker and weaker by the second. Not that I was complaining. The tracking, if that's what you'd like to call it, had occupied my mind to the point that little else could seep through; although my purpose had not faded. Bella, my sweet angel. I rarely allowed myself the opportunity to trail off to the place in my mind that she occupied, but in some circumstances, it was impossible to avoid.

Today, in this place, her memory took hold, refusing to relinquish it's grip. _  
_

_I don't want you to leave_. Her voice sang to me, as clear as the day she had spoken those words, filing me with both joy and pain. The agony of the sound of her voice was quickly overcome by the calm it brought upon me.

_You already know how I feel, of course, I'm here..._

That's when I heard it. The faint sound of a heartbeat, somewhere off in the murky wood; the smell of blood mixing with the scent of the moldy earth beneath my feet. My senses heightened as I crouched down, readying myself for the attack. My skin tingled as the heartbeat grew louder, and I focused my attention on the sound of the approaching footsteps. The sound of breathing now mixed with the sweet song of the beating heart, which would soon be silenced.

The heartbeat was nearly deafening as the creature approached the clearing, oblivious to the danger it would soon meet. It was so close now, close enough that I could almost taste the sweetness of its blood on the tip on my tongue. I took one last deep breath, inhaling the scent, and then I stopped. Human? It couldn't be. I hadn't seen anyone in the days since I had wandered around these woods. I inhaled again, this time confirming my initial thought. The smell was undoubtedly human. I saw her step into the clearing, and quickly raised from my crouched position as to not frighten her. Her soft brown curls hung in ringlets around her pale face. I closed my eyes for a moment, as the memories came rushing back. I could see Bella, glancing up at me, telling me how unafraid she was in my presence; could feel the warmth of her touch as she reached out for me. The smell of her blood enticing me so, that I had actually considered attacking her right there with all of our classmates watching.

"Hello?" She spoke in a voice as soft as the dew that still clung to the trees. "Is there someone there?" I stepped out from behind the brush, and cautiously walked into the clearing. "Oh thank goodness. Can you help me?" She took a step closer to me, as I took a step back. She glanced down, her eyes resting upon my clutched fists.

"What are you doing here?" I asked with a low growl. I stared at her through narrow eyes, hoping to scare her away.

"I went out for a walk this morning, and I haven't been able to find my way back." She flipped her curls away from her face, exposing the smooth ivory surface of her neck. I could feel the temptation reaching its boiling point.

"You really shouldn't be here." I slowly began to back away from her.

"Don't go. I need help." She ran towards me, the smell of her blood wafting in the wind that she left in her wake. I inhaled and closed my eyes, allowing the monster to control me. She reached out and grabbed for my hand, dropping it the instant that she came in contact with my cold skin.

"I wish you hadn't done that." I snapped my neck around to face her, my eyes burning black with thirst.

_"I'm not afraid of you." _I could see her as clearly as if she were standing right in front of me.

"Bella?" How quickly the girl before me had transformed into my Bella. What kind of hell had I ventured into? I tried to shake it, but she was still there, looking through me with fear-filled eyes. I grabbed hold of her shoulders, and felt as she began to shake.

I cupped her face in my hands. "You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever." I knew that my mind was playing tricks on me, but it was a blissful trick. I listened as her heart beat faster and faster, as the adrenaline coursed through her veins. The scream that rose from her throat caught me by surprise, and I released her from my grip. I watched as she turned and ran, the sound of her breathing became faint as she ran through the woods away from me. I heard a piercing scream that caused even I to shudder in fear. It was then that I realized that the screaming was now coming from me. I quickly forgot the young girl who was running terrifed through the woods. My body lost control and I crashed heavily into the ground. I curled myself into a ball and lay there on the ground, all the while wishing for death.

If only there was some way to escape this damning pain. The trick my mind had played on me had brought all my pain to the fore. The pain I desperately hid away in the furthest recesses of my mind. Bella. The sight of her overwhelmed me. The memories, her wondrous smell, everything about her came flooding back. The pain threatened to swallow me whole. I lost track of how long I layed there in pain. For once, the desire to feed blissfully consumed the feeling of pain. Gratefully I allowed my dark nature to fully take control. Standing up I brushed the dirt from my clothes and closed my eyes again to focus. The heartbeat, faint in the distance, began to pound in my ears. Inhaling deeply I caught the scent of a deer. I began the hunt, carefully stalking the animal from afar until I could get close enough for my final attack.

Almost there, I thought to myself silently as I watch the young deer dart between the trees. I crouched down preparing to spring when the loud sound of my cell phone broke the silence. The deer, frightened, scampered into the woods. I stood up abruptly, annoyed that my "dinner" was being interrupted. I rolled my eyes when I looked at the display. "Perfect timing," I muttered darkly. "Hello," my voice sharper than I intended. As expected the lovely voice on the other line was warm, seductive. "Edward," she paused, obviously trying to decipher my mood, "you don't seem happy to hear from me."

I sighed, "I'm hunting Maria, what do you want?", my cutting tone would have made anyone else shy away but not Maria. She seemed to enjoy a challenge. Unfortunately for her my perpensity for games had faded away. "Is that any way to speak to a friend? My my Edward, One would think you weren't interested in what I had to tell you. Hmm..pity," her voice became indifferent. Women, I thought to myself, they will be the death of me. If I had any chance of locating Victoria I needed Maria's help. If I had to placate her overinflated ego to get it then that was exactly what I would do.

"Sorry," I replied curtly. "You know how men are when they get hungry." My thoughts instantly traveled to Bella and that night in Port Angeles. She had surprised me that night with her perceptiveness about my true nature. She aluded to the fact that when my eyes turned black as pitch, indicating my thirst, I became crabby. I shook my head to try to distance myself from the memory. I heard Maria laugh softly on the other end of the line. "You're forgiven," she chuckled again. "My sources are telling me that our friend Victoria is heading to South America, Brazil, I think. I'm not sure if this information is completely reliable but I thought you should know." I thought of the map that I had found in the warehouse. The connections were slowly starting to take shape.

My thirst was temporarily forgotten. I decided that if I had a chance to find Victoria I would have to go now, thirst be damned. "Thank you Maria," I breathed. "You've been helpful. I won't forget this." She cleared her throat before speaking again, "as I told you before, any brother of Jasper's is a brother of mine. Be safe." Then she was gone. The line silent. I ran to the edge of the woods urgency fueling my every step. I had to get to South America to stop her once and for all and protect the love of my life.


End file.
